My Year in Review: 2024

So… I’ve had a really interesting year. It began with me spending hours a week in the library, poring over a fourteenth-century poem and analyzing it through a feminist eco-critical lens to assess how the female characters affected the overarching environmental message of man’s inevitable mortality and ended it ringing up customers at a liquor store. It’s been wild, and wildly difficult. For this blog, I wanted to reflect on it. 

I knew that graduating college was going to be hard, but I had no idea what that entailed. I figured it meant being sad about my college friends all moving across the country (or world), but I didn’t realize the constant rejection that came with 1) applying to jobs, 2) trying to make friends, 3) trying to date. For a while, I felt that I was being crushed by rejection in every facet of my life. I was doing social media for my liquor store job, without any real success yet; I kept getting ghosted on dating apps (I’ve since sworn them off); potential employers didn’t even give me the grace of a rejection email; and, when it came to this project, I had months of work stretching out in front of me. All of it pressed upon me, and I felt breathless. 

That’s not to say that I didn’t also have fun this year! I had some wonderful experiences, like going to Acadia National Park with my college roommate, joining a run club and getting closer to an old friend, and rekindling relationships lost to Covid-19. I also had some moments I’m really proud of, like running a half-marathon with another close friend, completing my thesis and passing (without revision!), and getting this fellowship! I hold all of those moments close to my heart, but when I look back on 2024 I think of how much I struggled.

Yet, I’m also glad that I didn’t coast from college into a job or internship. To be honest, I never struggled in college and high school. I pushed myself and pursued opportunities that forced me out of my comfort zone, but I never felt as if I had to fight. These past few months, I did feel that way. As I mentioned before, I was facing rejection in almost every facet of my life for a period of a few months, and I just had to consistently dust myself off and try again. I got a lot bolder when it came to reaching out to people for potential opportunities, sharpened my resume and honestly started believing in myself. 

I don’t regret these last few months. I don’t really regret anything. Post-grad life has been hard, but life’s hard. Living at home, talking to friends from high school and my little sisters, I’m reminded of how much I struggled when I was young. I was so shy, so anxious, so afraid that no one genuinely liked hanging out with me that I didn’t even muster the courage to date someone until junior year of COLLEGE. Now, I can walk up to almost anyone and strike up a conversation with them. I also LOVE going on dates and meeting new people, but that’s only because I spent seven years forcing myself to do uncomfortable things. If we don’t do hard things, we don’t grow. So (as much as working at the liquor store frustrates me sometimes), I’m grateful for what this season of hardship has taught me: I’m strong, I’m resilient, and I won’t give up when things get difficult. 

During my last semester at Fordham, I had this one refrain: “I will get what I want, because I get what I want.” I know that sounds bratty, but it helped me to remind myself that when I put in the work, when I try my hardest, when I keep going—despite whatever setbacks may arise—then I end up on top. Also, looking at my life post-grad, I realize that the entirety of my life lies in front of me. I may have some pretty lofty dreams (i.e. become a best-selling author), but I have like… sixty(?) years to make that a reality. That’s a long time. 

So, yes, this year has been really hard, but life’s always hard. Even if I get my dream job and become a best-selling author, there will always be something to dread (climate change, death, heartbreak, etc.), that’s just how life is. But there’s also always something to celebrate, even if it’s just surviving a particularly hard six months. My ex-boyfriend once mentioned that these next 5 years are going to be the hardest of our lives. Maybe he’s right, but they’re also going to be some of the most exciting. 

Here’s to hoping 2025 will be easier, and here’s to knowing nothing worthwhile is easy. Cheers.